Relayshunships

Re-lay-shun-ship... Breaking it up into small parts, I will make an attempt to understand it. Relay, its a race, a competition at times, the eye staring staunchly on the prize. Shun, this may have something to do with how we treat those not in relationships, or those, swingers that try to take our mate. Ship, seems to elude to a type of journey, with twists and turns, rocky points, trials, and tribulations. Relayshunships, can serve different purposes. Some may be for the purpose of marriage, procreation, fulfilling life's purpose, ecetera ecetera. Some, may be leading towards that direction, in a long term agreement. Some are new-bies, the stench of mystery and "the unknown" drenching them. Yet others are more casual. Maintaining some basic rules, but keeping distance. Others, are not built to last, more built to sustain a one night type of engagement....I respect each type of relationship, I believe each has a place and purpose to an end. Not needed to be experienced by all, but important to know. In the instance of relationships, is the end the same for each? Eventually,half of those darling marriages will fail, due to divorce, those leading up to it, may break up. The ones lasting several years having a delightful burning type of resentment attached to them, due to their longevity, comfort, and exposure to the others' world. The newbies, well, the scent of newness wears off, if they are strong enough to survive, Godspeed! but for the others, the initial intoxication was not enough. Those one-evening engagements, are fun,but tend to leave one feeling, somewhat unfulfilled, unsatisfied, some leading to question motives, of either emotional need fulfillment or dysfunctional assessment of self worth.
So, what can we say about it? Essentially, we are on the ship together, some at more sturdy points in the current then others, but never knowing what direction fate may turn it. I suppose one truly takes a risk when handling another. Their baggage, their past, their quirks, their devices. Mixing the chemicals of yourself with them, can create either a masterpiece or a chemical war-zone. Its a scary ride, but one worth the risk.

Wear Sunscreen.

"Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth."


We each have our own bits of advice, created by mounds of experience, recycled to form something useful to someone else. Just the idea of this makes humanity worth being around for. The experience of LIFE. Damn, its not the greatest, but you sure as hell come up with some interesting information along the way. The best part is, you never stop learning or growing, unless of course you choose to stop searching, yearning for it. I love the idea that, yes, we all have our bag-o-shit but, we can sift through it, dig up a golden piece here and there, dust off the mistakes, tragiedies, errors that we experienced, and then pass it along to someone new.
The unfortunate piece is this: One can never truely appreciate or understand this "Recycled Advice" until they've lived it themselves.


Thats all for this evening, just a bit of nostalgia coming back to me...

Heres the vid.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vbet-84hnCc&feature=related

Are you Listening?!?!

Listen...If my 23yr aged brain can conjure one bit of sound advice, it would be this: Listen. I had an interesting conversation with someone the other day. Previously, this person wouldnt have been anywhere on my radar of people I wanted to choose conversation with. However, it was one of the those moments when they "just wanna talk" and you "just wanna run". Well this conversation, began by asking me my occupation. I said counseling, and attempted an exit. Stormed by my inability to stop talking about my self, another question insued and, I stayed. We got to talking about counseling and he responded, "all you need is love" I quickly gave reasons to why this is too ideal, wrong for my work setting and useless...,.. But than completely out-of-character for me, I listened...I told my brain to shut up, and just listened. I realized for the first time ever, that human contact required subsiding ones view, in order to meet a person on the same plain. Of course, I still did not agree with some of his viewpoint, but this time i didnt combat. I just listened. And after i had listened, and returned back to my own thoughts, I realized I was having an almost out of body experience. Listening, not anaylizing why, Listening, even though I still thought he was wrong, I felt different. It was as if i was hearing someone speak for the first time. I am a singer, music lover, and amatuer musician, but for the first time..i was listening. It felt so different and good, that I needed to write about it. So i rememeber. LISTEN TO PEOPLE, dont just nod your head, but really listen. You would be suprised at how much you dont know, if you just stopped thinking YOU wrote the book on it all..Its not a misplay of your confidence, its a demonstration of humbleness.

So, I will start to listen, Im turning 24 in two weeks, I think its about time I started.

Would you like some coke to go with that line of crap?

Ive got a touch of Peter Pan complex, dabbling in Napoleon complex, sprinkled with some Freudian, a bonefide Frankl-er, give me an inch ill take a mile, confused to the heavens from the depths of hell. Drive me to insanity, and ill hitch a ride home. Ill kill you with kindness and make it look like an accident. Ill be slow as molasses but just as sweet, sweet as candy and just as addictive, addictive as drugs, with all the withdrawal, it takes more of me to keep the high. I am my own worst enemy, too weak to destroy, to slow to realize, that i am, a figment of your imagination, fall down the rabbit hole, wont be seen again, till Alice looks for a way to escape her destiny. We'll run far, but never to escape, the fate that's waiting in the Creators hands.

10% Please.

Stop holding on to your humanity, like you’re thinking something different than all the rest. That YOUR epiphany is the best, that the truth is only from what YOUR 10% mind has eluded to, one day after a bad trip. Stop plaguing your soul with thoughts of fear because YOU believe that fear is the only thing that is true. Remember this, things aren’t fucked up for no reason. We’re meant to learn from EVERY encounter, every dead man, every accident. And, if you believe we are all connected then believe something else, there is a God. Step back for a moment and recognize how small you are, insignificant in the planet, step back and recognize that there is SO MUCH MORE than your thoughts. That YOU ARE NOT THE FINAL ANSWER! Maybe if we started believing that we don’t have all the answers we’d start trusting a little more in each other, and in God. I laugh sometimes at my grand thoughts, how specific and scientific they’ve all become, this equals that, so matter of fact-ly. I love remembering that I’m so tiny, in such a large world of thought. And in such, I remember that 10% , that 10% we only use. How is it? Such a mighty force of life,humanity, only entitled to 10% of brain power? Seems pretty insignificant to me.. Seems like we don’t have all the answers after all.

Painted pictures wouldnt tell the story.

No matter the weather outside, I feel the rain. Cold, it touches the skin, piercing with each drop... too difficult to decpher it from the tears, all the same. Its inside however. No one suspects the storm. Each night it returns. The same thundering pangs, made as affirmations to a relentless truth: It will never be okay. Wanting more than breath, for the sun to shine in, to crack this damp hollow. Beating heart pleads for a moment of reprise. HOLD YOUR TONGUE SIR. Continue this battle till blood retreats, marking its tracks along the field of poppies. WE ARE ALL ON OUR WAY. Time passes too quickly..Time scares me.

I was so much older then, Im younger then that now.

"I was so much older then, im younger then that now."
Bob Dylan

This song skimmed its way into my work playlist this morning. I was intrigued, looking up the lyrics. They are prolific, painting a picture. He sings it as if he is crying out, maybe to the masses, maybe to just me. Its a meandering thought of how we (the youth) know and have it all figured out. Then when we grow chronologically, we realize how much we really didnt know. We act as if we are these mature creatures, playing dress up, talking and "playing" as adults, but only when we experience, only when we actually grow up, do we recognize how silly it really was to play pretend that way. Life is made up of experiences not timelines- "lies that life is black and white". You've got to laugh at it all. Maturity and the like, its all a matter of how much bullshit your willing to induce and regurgetate for the masses. Ahh.. let me not get ahead of myself though. I am the biggest advocator of fighting the man. the precise thing Bob warns us of. In the end we dont fight the man. We are at war with ourselves. Our needs versus the community's needs. I realize now. My generation becomes so frustrated when we see the older generations "giving up" we only see their defeat, and vow ourselves not to make the same mistake. It may, in reality, have always been that they have learned to accept what life has given, not as defeated, but as finally taking on the responsibility, taking their rightful place in the steadfast, an edifice the youth continually challenges. What we dont recognize is the vitality of what that represents.